Mental Floss

Today’s mental notes:

1 – It does not, in fact, take eleven minutes to walk from my home to the office. It actually – interestingly enough – takes THIRTY minutes.

2 – Shoes that hurt one’s feet when one walked about in San Diego, California, will also hurt one’s feet when one walks about in Madison, Wisconsin.

3 – While they may SEEM like a good idea at the time of consumption, s’mores seem like LESS of a good idea when they are written in one’s food journal under the heading of “Breakfast.”

4 – Doctors operate on a different timeline than the rest of us, and also apparently don’t thoroughly read emails.

5 – Some doctors appear to abandon the rules of grammar, perhaps related to Mental Note #4.

6 – Too-tight pants do NOT grow less irritating as the day goes on. While THEORETICALLY they might remind one that one needs to lose weight, they – conversely – make one incredibly inactive due to intense discomfort felt upon moving.

7 – Projects do not disappear from one’s desk just because one refuses to look at them. The next time that one accidentally passes one’s eyes over the surface of one’s workspace, one might be startled and dismayed to find project sitting there.

8 –Mark Twain was an AMAZING man.

9 – Putting LOTS AND LOTS of thought into the potential location of the keys to one’s file cabinet may not lead to the actual remembrance of key’s location. Interestingly, anxiety level progressively increases in fashion that correlates with amount of thought invested.

10 – One should consider NOT locking one’s checkbook, debit card, and all credit cards into one’s file cabinet if there is chance that one will lose keys to aforementioned cabinet.

11 – To a bird, there is no such thing as “enough attention.”

12 – Come to think of it, for many ex-people-in-my-life there is no such thing as “enough attention.”

13 – No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to make stair-climbing “fun.”

14 – For a true aficionado, the urge for cupcakes never COMPLETELY goes away. This means that one’s ENTIRE life could become an exercise in will-power.

15 – Now that I’m considering it, one’s entire life IS an exercise in willpower.

16 – What in the fruit??? What kind of game is this that we’re playing here???