Typical Morning (Or "Hey, At Least I'm Blogging")

5:45 am: Alarm goes off. I contemplate turning the alarm off and rolling over, but decide potential consequences outweigh enjoyment of extra sleep. I’m up, and out of bed.

5:47 am: Charlie has noticed I’m up. Immediately begins throwing wire pen around.

5:48 am: Charlie can’t believe I’m still ignoring him. Throws pen even more violently.

6:09 am: Initial pet care is complete. Dog out and fed, birds fed and watered, rabbits watered and given treats, and Charlie and Janie released for morning exercise time.

6:10 am: Charlie, after his 20 minute tantrum during which he acted as if the confining walls of his pen were stifling his life essence and reducing him to near-death, has positioned himself under the table where he has fulfilled the urgent need to….recline, apparently.

6:30 am: Only 20 minutes into “bird-time” and I’ve already been bitten several times and broken up at least 3 bird fights.

6:31 am: Magazine that I’m reading suggests that my life will be completely different if I own these “key basics.” I analyze basics and consider potential impact on my life. Decide that Charlie would definitely chew on "key basics," birds would poop on them, and Juliet would shed all over them. Seems like it wouldn't be much different from current life.

6:32 am: Charlie is eating carpet. Yell at him.

6:33 am: Janie has been corrupted and has started eating carpet. Yell at her.

7:00 am: Birds back, cut “morning apple” for rabbits, begin prepping food for day’s lunch and snacks.

7:03 am: Charlie has finished his apple and is trying to run – unseen – through the kitchen into the “forbidden zone.”

7:25 am: Have finished food prep for day: Salad made, apple chopped, watermelon cubed, cheese and crackers gathered. Eat breakfast.

7:30 am: Have changed litterbox and added hay to Charlie and Janie’s cage. Begin trying to reason Charlie back into his area.

7:33 am: Charlie is not interested in reason. Start trying to chase him back into his area.

7:35 am: Charlie is thoroughly enjoying the “chase me” game and circles the table repeatedly in glee.

7:37 am: Charlie and Janie successfully contained. Now running late. Petula whining at the top of her lungs, already. Get in shower.

7:47 am: Out of shower, getting dressed. Wearing yellow – bad idea, as it requires extra make-up. Too late to change.

8:10 am: Arrive at work, late. Greeted by email from client who has misunderstood entire project process and is making impossible demands. Wonder why I am so tired.