The Cubicle Chronicles: Tuesday Edition

By persistent - VERY persistent - request.

THE CUBICLE CHRONICLES
An Inconsistent Publication
2008 Series, Volume 1
Tuesday Edition
June 10, 2008

8 am: Have settled myself in my cube. My seat provides excellent view of main doors in and out of department area. This allows me to watch closely as tardy arrivals make their entrance. Take mental notes.

8:30 am: Have sent client emails, now leave cube to confer with creative director on customized web project.

9:00 am: Cube mate over short adjoining wall begins discussion of cherries on her desk. Programmer across from her suggests she bakes a cake. She states that she cannot bake; he expresses surprise as she is of Italian heritage. She insists that Italians cannot bake. I feel compelled to point out that there are a number of bakeries in Italy that offer tasty items. Discussion ensues and continues for 5 or so minutes.

9:30 am: Confer with graphic designer over never-ending torturous project.

9:45 am: Spend some time contemplating new exercise regiment and whether or not it is realistic. Have been “following” new regiment for four days and have failed to really follow it for three of those days. Nearly collapsed in yoga last night from muscle fatigue. Hmmm.

10:00 am: Listened to personal conversation in next cube. Something to do with looking for a specific color of iPod shuffle.

10:05 am: Decide to have a snack. Banana (gross – DISGUSTINGLY ripe) and yogurt drink.

10:10 am: Decide I am hungry.

10:15 am: Consider driving car home over lunch so that I can bike back.

10:17 am: Work on a project, decide I hate this project. Stare at the screen for a while to see if I can will myself to enjoy it. Decide I can’t.

10:30 am: Stop over at friend’s cube to chat about bizarre Twilight Zone that we work in.

11:00 am: Heat up a couple of Garden Burger patties to eat while staring at hated project.

11:15 am: Eat some bread, contemplate going for lunch. Stare at project.

11:20 am: Listen to personal conversation about availability of red iPod shuffles.

11:30 am: Check all email accounts. Decide I will definitely drive home to get bike.

Noon: Go home to get bike. When I arrive at apartment, collapse in fatigue. By the time I motivate myself to get up, do not have time to bike back. Eat a few crackers with peanut butter and drive back to office instead.

12:30 pm: Review emails. Read some recent news online.

12:45 pm: Have been sidetracked by website featuring multiple optical illusions and the studies/theories behind them. Stare at 6 or 7 of them intently, give myself a headache.

1:00 pm: Think about walking to Starbucks for coffee.

1:05 pm: Think about working on hated project.

1:10 pm: Listen to personal conversation in neighbor’s cube. Something to do with attendees of upcoming party, discussion of whether or not someone is a welcome addition, whether or not person on other end of phone is “still annoyed.”

1:25 pm: Decide to tackle pile of proofs on desk.

2:00 pm: Client meeting.

3:00 pm: Done with client meeting. Consider whether or not I am hungry or just bored. Ponder possibility of walking to Starbucks.

3:05 pm: Eat some cherries.

3:30 pm: Spend extensive amount of time looking up definition of medical term. Begin ridiculous amount of site-surfing in effort to find suitable definition. Give up.

4:00 pm: Obsess over amount of time left.

4:15 pm: Visit friend's cubicle again to discuss behavior of co-worker. Agree that behavior was innapropriate, as it involved much chest-thrusting and contorting of a female bosom in a male's face.

4:25 pm: Check email. Shut computer down.

4:29 pm: Leave cubicle for day!!!